Tag Archives: 100 pushups

The Om-Est of the Noms

This isn't even my final form!

It’s a surprisingly warm Saturday in March, which means it’s a good day for grilling.  As you can imagine, I’ve been excited about this all week long.  This has been the high point of my week, which might say a lot about the current state of my life…but that’s besides the point.  My point is that I’m going to put several pounds of grilled meat into my mouth over the course of 30 hours.  At some point this week, the part of me that enjoys no longer being fat asked the part of me that likes eating the following question: “How much weight will I gain from all this gluttonous activity?”

So I did the math (I did the monster math) and found out that I’d be consuming almost 8000 calories.  Given that I burn about 4200 calories over two days just from not being dead, I end up with a ~3800 calorie surplus, which results in gaining 1 lb of fat.  And this is just from grilled meat and the appropriate side dishes.  Of course, ~3800 this is an upper-bound.  I didn’t take into consideration things like how much fat will drip off of my burgers while on the grill.  Regardless, it’s still a lot of calories.  The part of me that would like to continue not being fat thinks I should think of ways to bring that number down (e.g., use leaner beef for my burgers); however, the point of BBQing is to eat tasty food until you’re so full, you regret every decision leading up to you being in that state.

Oh, and by the way, I’ve been stuck on week 3 on my journey to 100 pushups for the past 2 weeks.  I guess I shall never be swole.  And yet, I still refuse to give up.  I guess that’s just my ninja way.

An Unbelievable Amount of Push-Ups

Let me tell you a story: when I was much younger, I took martial arts classes for about a year (Tang Soo Do to be exact).  When I first started, I couldn’t do even 10 push-ups or sit-ups.  By the time I quit a year later, I could manage to pump out 50 push-ups and 200+ sit-ups.  I don’t know how many more sit-ups I could do at the time since I didn’t stop at 200 because I couldn’t do any more, I stopped because I was bored.  My point is this: I don’t think I’ve ever been (relatively) stronger than I was at that time.  So when I’m told that there’s a training program that can get me doing 100 push-ups in 6 weeks, I call shenanigans on that.

And yet, for reasons undefined, I decided to give the 100 push-ups thing a try.  So I did the initial test to see how many push-ups I could do, which would in turn determine regiment to start on: I could barely manage 15.  I know, I’m so strong.  Terry Crews has nothing on me.  Unfortunately, the program agrees with me, so I ended up on the hardest regiment.  After barely surviving the first week, my muscles were telling me that this was an awful idea.  I was positive my body was going to melt if I did another push-up ever again.  Luckily, my body is still intact after week 2.  I can’t always be right, it seems.  I still don’t think I’ll be able to pump out 100 push-ups after 4 more weeks, but I’ll make sure to write all about it regardless of the results.  I also need to make a will, just in case.